You seem to know exactly what my heart feels – you seem to know exactly how to make it beat fast and slow at the same time, and you render me speechless with your choice of words and gestures. I’m a wreck around you and I don’t have the strength in me to fight these emotions that overwhelm me. You tug on my heart strings like I were a marionette.
It’s the last day of 2011 and I haven’t been able to sleep a wink because, like you said, I think too much. Maybe that is my downfall, I don’t know. At the end of it all when the smoke clears, I only have my mind to keep me going because my heart lies useless where it’s always been. I just don’t know any better I guess. I only hope that one day I have my day in the sun – when I get to shout out loud that I am finally where I’m supposed to be.
But for now, I am content to be in this moment, lost in your eyes – and waking up to visions of your smile a 1000 miles away.
We can’t always have what we want and that’s a reality I hold on to everyday of my life. You are a memory in my heart and mind that does not want to leave me, no matter how hard I try. I can’t even begin to comprehend how much I love you and would give up just to be able to see you in person for even a second, I swear I’d die happy.
It’s barely 8am and these are the thoughts I stayed up all night with. I am lost in my thoughts of you. The ice box that is my heart melts every time I see your face – and I only have you to thank.
I ask myself every day why I am so weak around you and I get no answers. It is what it is I suppose.
With this said, I hope you know how much I love you and wish you well for the new year.
My undying love to you,