I woke up to the sounds of the birds singing and the neighbours dogs barking as they scampered around like crazy over their breakfast bowls. The suns rays shone through my window this morning, only to be marred by the dark clouds in the distance. I woke up today with a purpose. Today was going to be the day I made some very important decisions. Decisions that would change the course of my life and eventually forge a new path that I was going to walk.
Alas, I also woke up to misery and the reminder that my life was not as perfect as everyone thought it was. Despite the brave front and the weak smile, I suppressed something far too real. Something that had me feeling constricted and awful inside. I came to terms with the sad fact that this burden was mine to bear. Mine alone.
The overwhelming feeling of wanting to scream my guts out in agony and tell Life that it had won and I had lost. I’ve held on for so long now. How much longer before I catch that elusive dream?
Today, I cried. I cried because I’ve hit a snag. I cried because my heart hurts. I cried because my soul is weary. I cried because I needed to. I cried because it’s the only therapy I have.
I am tired. Tired of it all.